


Captain’s Log

by allmilhouse



Category: Avenue 5
Genre: Character Study, Dialogue Light, Gen, I imagine he hates his life and that’s before everything goes to shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22552492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmilhouse/pseuds/allmilhouse
Summary: A day in the life of ‘Captain’ Ryan Clark, set sometime before Avenue 5 goes off course
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34





	Captain’s Log

**Author's Note:**

> A new Iannucci show with a cast I can obsess over/project onto/fall in love with?? With dialogue I can’t even hope to replicate?? Sign me up!
> 
> Now in ~~pog~~ podfic form thanks to the wonderful BabelGhoti! Link below bc I don't know how to link things!!

Nights are the hardest, he thinks, rolling over in bed again. It’s just too big for a single person, so large and expansive like the unforgiving space outside, the sheets embossed with _Judd_ in shiny gold letters compounding the fact that this isn’t his bed. He misses his husband and his wife, the two most effortlessly funny people he’s ever met. He misses how much he used to smile. 

“Do you ever get lonely?” he asked one night, as he and Matt watched the atrium being turned into a dance floor for ballroom lessons. The first week of a voyage always left him sentimental, but it became a moment of weakness he instantly regretted when Matt interpreted it as a pickup line. “No, god no, first of all, I’m married,” he groused, extracting himself. “And second of all, absolutely not.” 

An awkward beat followed before Matt nodded in that faux-good-natured way of his. 

“Earth is only a video chat away,” he said. “And the delay only adds to the experience. Its potential for edging is both inspired and tantalizing.”

Ryan made a mental note not to talk about his personal life with the crew anymore. 

—

Mornings are the hardest, he thinks, as he sees Iris coming his way. Her eyes lock into his, and dammit, he’s been seen, there’s no escaping this. 

“Judd wants you to lead the passenger breakfast,” she begins, no preamble. “And he wants you to change the menu for the Captain’s Brunch tomorrow. He says beans have no place on that plate.”

He smiles. “Good morning to you too, Iris. Any other notes from our benevolent boss?”

“Yes, he wants to know if it’s possible to get closer to the asteroid we’ll be passing in a few days.”

Ryan swallowed. “Well, the engineering staff sets the course so-“

Iris nodded sharply. “I told him that we can’t deviate from the course. He said that was, and I quote, ‘horseshit’, but I’m sure he’ll take the news better from you. He wants to see you after breakfast.” She checked her watch briskly. “He also has more ideas how to improve the comms delay.”

“Of course he does.”

“Keeping him preoccupied with an unsolvable problem keeps him from tinkering with the rest of the ship,” she said, her tone softening slightly. If anyone onboard had suffered enough at Judd’s incompetent hands, it was her, and Ryan felt a twinge of pity. It vanished as she began the rundown of the passengers for breakfast. 

“Oh, I am not dealing with them again!”

—

Afternoons are the hardest, he thinks, as Joe and Billie strode onto the bridge. As a rule, he liked the engineering team. He had to. They had his back, doing all of the actual work keeping them trekking along. 

But anytime they came onto the bridge he felt fear. The crew didn’t know about him, about how he wasn’t the real captain. He knew Joe didn’t want the truth to come out as much as he did, but all it took was one eavesdropper. 

Or worse, this could be another emergency. Something even more serious than the Avenue 3 fire, a non-heroic effort he was still being praised for. 

Ryan turns to them, smiling graciously. “Welcome to the bridge. What brings me the pleasure of your company?”

“Fucking Judd. He’s bitching again...”

Ryan nodded, waiting patiently for him to finish, but he never did. 

“Anyway, we’re going to try to humor him. Billie, get the...”

“Oh right, here,” she said, gesturing slightly to move the projection from her wrist to the ship’s command. “Here’s the latest from Earth about upcoming gravity resets. Looks like we shouldn’t need one for another two weeks.” 

He pretended to read over the projection. “Sounds good. Thanks for keeping everything shipshape.”

Joe snorted. “Yeah, thanks.” 

Ryan watched them go, before exhaling heavily and turning back to the crew. “Mads, how are we looking?”

—

Evenings are the hardest, he thinks, as the costume grows thinner. Captain Ryan Clark is a part he plays, and one that demands total focus. It takes all his remaining effort, but he smiles and nods at the passengers walking by, cracking jokes with the few whose names he remembers. His hand shakes as he waves, and he briefly contemplated stopping by the bar, until Judd’s broad, beaming face appears on the wall, selling another of his milk-based cocktails. Tonight disgust forces his hand.

Returning to his quarters, he stares in the mirror as he takes his cap off. God, when did he get so gray? His reflection doesn’t answer. 

He sighs heavily as he sits down on the edge of the bed, bending over with a groan to untie his shoes. Only a few more weeks, he reasoned, just gotta hold it together for five more weeks, that’s all.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Captain’s Log](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915422) by [BabelGhoti](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabelGhoti/pseuds/BabelGhoti)




End file.
